"To be safe, we lose our chance of ever knowing..."
When I told people I suddenly had to travel alone to Cambodia, most of their responses were of disbelief at my so-called "bravery" and great concern over my safety. I was not entirely sure how to respond, as I was puzzled and quite embarrassed at these remarks because it did not occur to me that I was doing something courageous or that the trip posed any sort of danger. I guess a lot of people are scared to travel alone. To be honest, I (fortunately) never was. (I’m more terrified of lizards and going to the doctor than this one, I swear.) I have always been too eager and thrilled to see new things, meet new people, and experience the unfamiliar. Thoughts of perils ahead rarely cross my mind, or at least come last if they do,.. or when I mull over this kind of reactions.
Sure, it will linger for a while, but I easily brush it off, thinking I won't be able to go wherever I want to if I let my fears hold me back. So, yeah, I usually just let my passion for adventure devour those little monsters. Haha! :) And believe me, after living alone far from home and traveling to places I knew nothing of (and probably not even a single soul), there's really nothing to be scared of if you're careful enough. ;) It is a risk, but, to me, it's always, always worth taking. :)
***
I was not planning on having my first real solo trip just yet but somehow, I ended up traveling alone. Despite the sudden change in company from one to zero, I still decided to pursue the trip.
"I'll go see the Angkor Wat,” I reasoned. "I'm going to explore the ruins like Lara Croft."
So, one Friday evening I found myself again at the airport. It was almost midnight, and, although I felt extremely sleepy and a bit saddened by my loss of company, my heart was racing with excitement.
Our plane landed at around 9 in the morning. The hostel I stayed at offers free pick-up from the airport, so they just told me that someone would be waiting for me at the departure area. Usually, I just ignore and pass by the crowd holding up those signboards with names of people, various hotels, transportation options, etc.. This time, however, I stood there for a few good seconds looking lost and confused, reading, squinting, and searching among those almost faceless silhouettes, as the sun brightly shone behind them. It is too random of a moment to be remembered so vividly, but somehow I have a mental picture of it.. haha! ..It was probably the moment when sensations rushed in -- I felt fragile, independent, and excited at the realisation of where I finally was: Cambodia. Thankfully, before my worries could have even consumed my enthusiasm, I found a board bearing my correctly spelled name. :)
My luxury ride was apparently a tuk-tuk, and it gave me the pleasure of a 360-degree view of the road on our way to the hostel. The area looked bare. The roads were dusty and covered with old mustard-coloured earth. It was like an aftermath of a calamitous flood that dried up -- a bit desolate but glowingly beautiful as it reflected the morning sun.
We arrived early at the hostel, but I couldn't check-in till after lunch. My eyes were begging for sleep because I barely had any, but I felt I'd be wasting precious hours just waiting there. Luckily, the two other backpackers in the lobby - who I later found out to be solo travellers as well - approached me and asked if I wished to join them. (They probably saw through my fazed face how lost and undecided I was. haha!)
We took a stroll to the market to grab some souvenirs because apparently, they were already headed to Phnom Penh that afternoon. Our short exchanges of words were about where we've been, where we're headed, and what I shouldn't miss in Siem Reap - I took mental notes of their suggestions. After picking out our choice of postcards and trinkets, we headed back to the hostel to catch their bus. I handed them a pack of dried mangoes, wished them a safe bus ride, and faintly hoped to see them in Phnom Penh 2 days later, as my flight back to KL was from there. (Sadly, I didn’t.)
That short stretch of walk disencumbered me of drowsiness. So, instead of going to bed as I had planned earlier that day, I hastily returned to the center to start my own exploration. I walked along streets and entered temples and galleries that seemed to pull my feet. I only had the company of my own camera, and, adorned with it, I became the typical Asian who takes photographs of almost everything. o.O
(Kidding. I assure you I took fewer than usual. Haha! :)))
Before the trip, I had asked my friends who have been to Siem Reap what their best experiences there were. Some suggested to take culinary classes. I am not good of a cook, but I thought I should give it a try. The cuts and burns I often have after attempting to cook are usually worth the knowledge (and satisfied tummy haha!). So, after that long walk, I decided to go to Le Tigre Papier for my Khmer Cooking Class, as my stomach bellowed for a meal. I was starving and had precious time to kill, anyway. Lucky for me no one else chose the same time slot, which then left me to a one-on-one private class. It would have been more fun if I had classmates, but, heyyy, I had all the food to myself! Oh yeah! :)
It was definitely enjoyable. We started with a tour of the market for a short introduction of the ingredients commonly used in Khmer cuisine, and, soon after, we returned to the restaurant for the cooking proper. I felt like I had my own cooking show because the staff was pretty entertained by my skills - or lack thereof. I didn't know it required such muscle work!
After 2 hours of pounding, mixing, peeling, and whatsoever, my eyes (and taste buds!) could not believe what I had just made. I do not wish to brag or anything like that, but, for the first time in my culinary life, I cooked something I am proud of! (^^)/ But, of course, I wouldn't have done it without the help of my master chefs and the laughter we shared while cooking. It was the perfect feast to celebrate my safe arrival in Siem Reap. :)
I cannot remember the exact names, but they were: pork and shrimp spring rolls, chicken in peanut sauce with bok choy, and sweet pumpkin soup :)
A bit exhausted and full from the hearty meal, I finally indulged in a few hours’ rest and woke up feeling ready to get acquainted with the city's nightlife.
I met up with a fellow Filipino, who apparently was on his first trip abroad alone. We took a walk along the river, prettily illuminated with floating lamps, and around the center, through night markets that sold a variety of stuff from cheap clothing and cute souvenirs to deep-fried scorpions and baby snakes. There weren’t as many people as I had expected. Although the streets seemed to burst with life because of all the flickering signages and motor lights, it was quite relaxed and reserved.
My first day in Siem Reap concluded with a round of promo margaritas at Pub Street, as we observed the people around, talked about traveling alone, and laughingly goofed about the idea of soul-searching.
I spent the following day eating authentic Khmer food, leisure walking, bargaining at vintage markets, and browsing through book sales.
And in the evening, my new friend and I went see a show called Chills at The Phare: The Cambodian Circus. The story revolved around kids haunted over a legend of ghosts. I thought I'd end up watching them through my fingers and with more than half of my face covered, but they were so amazingly talented that I got my eyes fixed on them despite the grotesque makeup of some. They did all sorts of acrobatic stunts and interpretative dances with such humour and energy, which made it all the more entertaining.
Despite keeping in mind that I had to get up early the next morning, the rest of the evening was spent on Pub Street, with a happy dinner and another round of drinks. It proved to be a terrible combination as I struggled to get out of bed a few hours later.
I scheduled a sunrise tour of the Angkor Wat the following day -- at 4am, to be exact. I’m quite unsure why I even dared to take that since I'm the last person you’d expect to see at the breakfast table. Fortunately, with great effort, I was able to drag myself out of bed.
The journey was long (or maybe it became so because of feeling torpor). There was nothing to see in the dusk, and the cold wind embraced me gently, making it quite impossible not to fall back to sleep. After minutes of wondering where in the world I was, we came to a halt, and the driver told me to just follow the crowd.
It was like the world was mocking me. I had to force my eyes open to its full capacity to direct me in that total darkness. I couldn't have reached the end without the faint lights the other tourists unintentionally shared with their flashlights on. Although I knew the pathway was wide enough, I treaded that rocky and uneven path so nervously because I soon realised that stepping off the path means falling to a body of water I have not even seen in daylight.
Eventually, the people started to walk more slowly and crowds began to culminate at the brink of the lake in between us and the famous temple's silhouette. Thoughts of sleep and self-reprimanding clouded my mind as I stood there waiting for a hint of sunrise. It's a shame that I wasn't able to appreciate the beauty of it in its entirety as my disposition was that of someone who wished to see the bed more than the morning sun slowly ascending behind a historical wonder. I most certainly didn’t feel like Lara Croft.
And then,... it came.
Slowly and inch by inch, the sun creeped from behind the temples and tinted orange this massive canvas of pure magnificence.
I was suddenly out of thoughts and, instead, felt every breath of that mystical morning..
I cannot emphasize more how it was.
The photos below don't compare to the real thing (and I was only able to take a couple after snapping back to my senses, so the sun was already a bit high up haha!), but I hope they can at least speak for what I can't put into words.
After transiently going through series of temples, pretending to be part of tours of different languages and getting lost in its labyrinths, I asked the tuk-tuk driver to finally bring me back to the hostel. Without a moment's thought, I fell into slumber to catch a few more hours of rest before I checked out that afternoon.
When I woke up, I felt more energised than ever. I decided to go back - this time, on a bike - and recover from that awfully exhausting morning. I don't regret that, though, because it made me more appreciative of the moments that came after.
As I went further away from the center, I began to notice my surroundings and saw more clearly what I had failed to do so earlier that day. The tall trees, curved creeks, gigantic roots destructively emerging from the ground, mossed ruins, carved faces on bricks, old women balancing baskets on their heads, children walking home from school, old foreign couples on carriages, backpackers on bikes, monks, young lovers on the banks of the man-made lakes - they were all captivating,.. screaming stories that were dying to be told.
Without a map, just my surprisingly accurate intuition, I found my way to the temples. I re-explored them in complete awe. As I sat on one of the temples' edges, observing the crowds of tourists taking photos and walking by, and the blazing sun beginning to descend, I became aware of my sole existence - alone, but not lonely. I felt contented, happy, and thankful for the very moment of just being there. With a more positive outlook, that afternoon was probably the best part of my trip. I just let the whole experience engulf me.
I cycled back to the hostel, against the breeze of the evening and surrounded by the beauty of Siem Reap. I was in utmost inner bliss.
I spent my last few hours in the city feasting on Khmer food while being entertained by locals dancing to their traditional music. I headed back to the hostel to catch the night bus to Phnom Penh. It was a very peculiar ride: bunk beds, lying with strangers side by side. It was a first, but I didn't mind.
And then I drifted off to sleep as I pensively recalled images of the place I was about to leave behind..
***
See, traveling alone isn't that bad at all. I always recommend people to do it even just once. You get full control of your itinerary, eat wherever you want to, rest whenever you feel like to, ride whatever you wish to, have that sense of independence, make new friends, and more importantly, a moment to own and reflect on your being -- distant and detached from the familiar you’ve defined yourself with.
(I rarely get into this length and latter part of reasoning when I convince my friends to travel, or when they ask me why I travel non-stop. :)) So, yeah, here it is - uhh,...actually, just a summary of it! hahaha! I can go on and on with this, given the opportunity and attentive ears.)
***
October 27-30, 2013
Siem Reap, CAMBODIA
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